Failure is Always An Option

Winning. There are lots of definitions of it. Different standards, different expectations, different goals. Society measures it in games, won/loss records, in business, the bottom line, in life, lots of adoring friends and family makes you a winner. Everyone wants to be a winner. No one wants to be seen as a loser. Right?

Fortunately that is not the way it works. Losing happens much more frequently than winning and we all get to deal with it. I say fortunately because failure, in my opinion, is much better for us than success. Failure drives us to do better, take a different path, use talents that may have laid dormant had victory come easily. World famous authors will display their stack of rejection letters received before they had success.

In the age of participation ribbons, everyone plays, and not keeping score, I am concerned for our future generations. The helicopter parents of today are so concerned that little Johnny be safe, protected in every way, seek to shield them from failure at all costs. Self esteem is to be elevated and enhanced. Positive reinforcement no matter how much they suck at what they do.

I grew up in a different time. When I tried out for the sports teams I found out pretty quickly that athletics was not in my future. I worked my ass of to be an average baseball player and football rejected me derisively. At the age of 12 I had to face the facts of life. I just wasn't good enough. Not for sports that is. I had talents in other areas which I explored because of my failures with athletics. I found success because of failure. This experience has been replayed throughout my adult life and I attribute my success to knowing how to deal with failure.

Children need to experience failure. It hurts to lose and none of us want to see our children unhappy. However, there will come a time, after they leave our protective shield, that reality will slap them up beside their heads and they will lose. And it will no doubt be something infinitely more important than some junior high football game. And how they deal with the loss will be crucial to their future as functional, successful adults. So it's best they learn this lesson when the stakes are low. They will grow from the experience.