Being A Dad

Father's Day, the stepchild of special days, is today. I call it that because, it comes 5 weeks after Mother's Day and how do you follow that act? Mother's Day is the busiest day for restaurants; Father's Day he usually gets to grill for the family. Mothers are showered with gifts and flowers; fathers get coffee mugs and socks. This was totally understandable when we were raising our kids because my bride was their constant companion and I brought home the paycheck and they hardly ever saw me. So Mom was the go to parent until they needed money.

Father's Day never meant that much to me growing up as my Dad and I rarely agreed on anything. In fact it wasn't until a few years before he died that we had a civil relationship. I think having my own family gave me an appreciation for what he had to put up with out of me. But we survived and respected each other, which is better than I thought it would be. He has been gone for 23 years now and I sometimes think he is indwelling me because I hear myself saying some of his sayings. God be with me!

My experience of being a dad began on the day I married almost 38 years ago. I was 22 years old and had two boys 8 and 3. What I lacked in knowledge I made up for in confidence. I was sure I would be a great dad because mine wasn't. Figure out that logic! I figured out pretty quick that my dad wasn't as bad as I thought and I wasn't as good. Somehow we managed to get them, along with a daughter, to adulthood and adult responsibility, at least in two of the three. It was an experience I wouldn't trade for but boy am I glad they are raised!

Today the role of the father in the family has expanded greatly. Watching my son-in-law in his tireless efforts of raising Daniel, as well as many other fathers of young children I observe, I realize the dads of today are more equal partners in parenting than my generation ever was. Some of that could be due to the mothers also working full time outside the home but that's not all of it. I sense a genuine commitment to and joy in being engaged in their child's life. Another part is that men are becoming fathers at an older age and understand the responsibility associated with the job. Whatever the reason I see it as a positive change for our future.

One final comment on being a Dad. Medical technology over the past 20 years seemingly has sought to relegate men to the role of sperm donor. Increasingly women are raising children, either by choice or circumstances, without the benefit of a father in the child's life. As a result our society has produced children that are confused about gender roles and their own identity because there hasn't been a father in their lives or the one that has been did them no favors by being there. There is a reason God required a woman AND a man to create life! Fathers must be involved in the lives of their children so women must choose CAREFULLY who they choose to honor with that gift. Because fatherhood should be a gift from God and the woman you love. Not from an insemination specialist and a random sperm donor!

Happy Father's Day to all of the great fathers I know out there!!!