The Fist Shake

I am beginning to show my age. Some that know me would argue that I have been an old man for about 40 years but they are just haters so I choose to ignore them. But I have come to the conclusion in the past few days that I probably have attained the status of old man.

This is not something I accept gracefully. While my appearance may reflect an older man I have always ascribed to the notion that you are as young as you think and I have had  a pretty good handle on contemporary culture. I listen to the current tunes and can even remember the lyrics to some. But, alas, I am finding that my perspective is backwards rather than forward so I must be getting old. Here are a few indications I have found:

1. Do you listen to a lot of music by dead singers?
2. Do you find yourself referring to events of many years ago in conversations about contemporary issues?
3. Do you scowl a lot?
4. Are you mystified by people under 30?
5. Do people, in general, piss you off?
6. Are you usually the oldest person in the room?
7. Do people usually refer to you by your last name?
8. Are you finding the need to "get it off your chest" more frequently?
9. Have you totally lost patience with idiots?
10. Do you find yourself more territorial about your yard?

If you see yourself in the above 10 items then you may have joined me on the last roundup. In my case I believe I have reached this point prematurely but reached it nonetheless. So rather than dwell on it and get all depressed I have decided to embrace my inner codger. Having worked at a nursing home for many years I have many examples from which to draw. I even have some good examples of dirty old man to go by if I just had the energy.

So here is what you should expect of me going forward:

1. I will talk incessantly about the weather. Not that I know much about it but that is what I am supposed to do. And I need to get a rain gauge so I can compare what I got to the guy on the next street over.
2. I will eat dinner earlier and earlier. The excuse to now has been to beat the crowds so we go to restaurants between 5:30 and 6:00 p.m. The sad thing is that is about the time we eat dinner at home. I full well expect to be at Luby's or IHOP for their early bird specials real soon.

3. I will complain about my health. That's a tall order because, other than being too fat, I don't have a lot wrong with me. But, as I said, many examples are ingrained in my brain so I am confident I can go there. A companion issue is comparing medications with other old farts.

4. I will look forward to retirement. This is a tough one because I anticipate that I will be retired at some point rather than that decision of time and place being of my choosing. Were I independently wealthy it wouldn't really matter when it happened. However, the market has not been good to me and I really need to work until Social Security kicks in as well as vesting in my current retirement plan which will occur about the same time.  So in about 5 years that harmonic convergence will occur. Will I pull the trigger? Who knows? I can see myself working until 70 but that is going to depend on work being available for me.

5. I will dwell upon the end of my days. Fortunately this doesn't usually happen until you retire and have a lot of time on your hands to consider it so see #4.

While the above is a tongue-in-cheek look at aging I will close with this statement. There are friends of mine that did it right. They remained active as long as they could and loved life to its fullest. THOSE are the people I will try to emulate!